Journaling - A Race to Slow Down

Last night I was winding down from a long day of work when I reached for my Bullet Journal. Updating this journal is my usual way of wrapping up evenings now...doodling, listing...trying to come up with new ideas. What made last night different is that instead of struggling to create a new page, I began to flip through the pages I'd already completed, paying close attention to what I was attempting to accomplish with each one.

This exercise made me realize how often I fall into the trap of forcing myself to create and that's a bit of a strange revelation. Creativity is different for everyone but I believe in order to get the most joy from it, the process needs to be organic. Journaling should fill a need, not necessarily create a new one. I started to journal as an outlet - a way to organize my thoughts in a tangible way. While I feel I've accomplished that (and continue to), I also find myself losing sight of the big picture. Instead of enjoying what's already there by tracking a list or writing a textual summary of the day, I rack my brain to come up with something new. I began to reflect on why I was journaling to begin with - what was my purpose? Goal? Intention?

I got into journaling so quickly, my mind flooded with ideas on exactly how I wanted things to look and how I wanted to create my layouts. Instead of the journal serving me in any mindful way, it became something to accomplish. The content inside was secondary - creating the journal in the precise way I wanted became my focus.

This behavior is part of my personality. I find an interest and in a very short time, set out to accomplish and/or complete all there is to be done. While I can't honestly say I've done all there is to do in the world and activity of journaling, I can admit that I've lost my focus. This, I believe, is in large part to my lack of patience and the impulsivity that lives inside me. I've accumulated numerous journals, pens, colored pencils and ideas. Not having completed any one journal, I find myself reaching for the next one, drawn in by its blank pages and unlimited possibility.

There's much wisdom in the advice, "Slow down and enjoy the process." There is no race. My journal doesn't have to ever be "finished". It doesn't have to compete with the thousands upon thousands of others that I see on the internet. It definitely doesn't have to measure up. It only needs to serve my own purposes, track my own thoughts while reflecting my goals and personal content. This is why the shiny new notebooks and journals that I've recently acquired will remain blank until it makes sense to move on. I will make a conscious effort to slow down and not be in any hurry to create or fill pages in a forced manor. I believe by slowing down, my journal will be a more authentic representation of my days, my goals and my thoughts. That is the true purpose of journaling - to create a tool that allows your mind to empty itself onto paper, creating more room for peace, calm and tranquility.

Happy Journaling,